legend of zelda ocarina of time
by Deity link
Summary: OoT through my eyes i expect at least 2 MORE reviews in order to continue only one can be a flame
1. kokiri forest

A/N I do not own link, navi, and whoever else appears in this story. Plz R&R

Link: Can't anyone get a nap around here without being told to save hyrule!

Navi: I don't think anyone can without a PILLOW!

Link: well I can't because YOU are using the only one as a poker palace

Navi: well where else am I exposed to have it!

Link: in the authors room

Navi: author?

Link: the one who's writing about us (points into a dark room where someone is typing on a computer)

Fdl: (sees him pointing) oh um hi I'm fierce deity link and I like pizza.

Navi: ooooh can you do us a favor?

Fdl: and that is?

Navi: putting us in the beginning of the game so this fic makes sense.

Link: yeah that would help a lot.

Fdl: fine gimme a sec. (starts typing a few things) ok lets start over.

**In the beginning the kokiri forest**

Gdt: Navi come hither.

Navi: yes?

Gdt: I fell terrible I miss taco johns

Navi: so you want me to go get taco johns for you?

Gdt: no go find the boy without a fairy and bring him here. Oh and also bring taco johns a nacho and a taco for me.

Navi: aww do I have to go to hyrule?

Gdt: no they just finished building one in the kokiri forest.

Navi: WOOHOO I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO HYRULE! (goes to boy-without-fairy)

Navi: wake up

Link: zZzZzZz

Navi: wakey wakey eggs and bacy.

Link: zZzZzZzZz

Navi: WAKE UP YOU LAZY BUM!

Link: (wakes up and grabs a fly-swatter) AHHH! STUPID FLY! (starts whacking at Navi)

Navi: quit! I'm not a fly I'm a fairy!

Link: oh well what do you want I was dreaming about taco johns.

Navi: the great deku tree needs your help and he also needs taco johns.

Link: okdokie (gets dressed and heads outside)

Saria: Hi link!

Link: hi saria (slides down ladder)

Saria: Link you finally got a guardian fairy! Congratulations!

Link: Thanks Saria. And I know something

Saria: and that is?

Link: I know you were in my house last night watching me sleep

Saria: u-u m-m-m-m I … I… don't … k-k-know wh-a-a-at you are t-t-alking about

Link: (shows camera)

Saria: um well about that (whispers something in links ear)

Link: O.O

Saria: yeah

Link: well I got to go the deku tree summoned me.

Saria: aww lucky can I come?

Link: (talks to Navi for a second) sure if you wanna.

Chapter has now finish please Review and new chapter up soon.


	2. gohma

A/N I don't own any of the stuff mentioned in this fic.

(Dramatic flash back powers) eh where we last left off fred bit a walrus oh wait wrong story where we last left off link and saria were going to the great deku tree but they came to a terrible fate.

Mido: no sword and shield no entry!

Saria: (holds out items) we have them! (Punches Mido in face)

Link: when did we get those?

Saria: I got them while you slept.

Link: O.O

Mido: (half awake) mommy I like my juice

Link: um how hard did you punch him?

Saria: hard enough to knock out fdl

Link: fdl?

Saria: (sighs) fierce deity link.

Link: oh the guy in the dark room?

Saria: yeah

**As Mido continued to blurt out random things Saria and Link went to the Great Deku Tree **

Saria: WOW that's one old tree he even has a mustache

Link: (elbows saria) RUDE

Saria: well its true

Link: well yeah but still

Gdt: I have been waiting for you link. Navi did you bring me my taco johns?

Navi: oh crap no I didn't (goes and gets it)

Link: Great Deku Tree how can we help you?

Gdt: go inside me there is a curse known as gohma

Saria: can I go also?

Gdt: I suppose I bet link will need your assistance

Saria: yay!

Link: well lets go.

(gdt opens up for the two to go in)

Link: wow this place is OLD.

Fdl: (throws brick at him)

Link: what was that for!

Fdl: 1. I'm mad 2. You aren't following the script. (tosses him a copy)

Link: all this says is to kill gohma.

Fdl: is that not clear?

Saria: link don't fight with the author (whispering) he can make us help Mido

Link: OH GOD (reads script really fast) OK I KNOW WHAT TO DO!

Fdl: my work here is done (snaps fingers and disappears)

Link&Saria: O.O

_At gohma's cave_

Gohma: who wants some candy?

Link&Saria: O.O CANDY! (they both tackled gohma so hard gohma died) aww no candy

Gdt: you two were to late I was gonna die from the start

Link: then why did we go in there?

Gdt: oh yeah um hrm good point

_Just then navi came back with taco johns_

Navi: IM BACK!

Link&Saria&gdt: NOOOOOOOO!

Link: well I'm leaving

Saria: Where?

Link: Hyrule to mug the royals

Saria: oh sounds fun

Link: wanna come?

Saria: sure but first (tosses him an ocarina)

(a brick comes at Saria)

Saria: OH MY GOD!

Fdl: you don't do that yet!

Saria: well I wasn't supposed to help kill gohma but I did didn't i?

Fdl: (scatching head) well yeah but um …. Ugh fine do as you please but I still control you all.

Saria: fine but be sure to give link epona now.

Fdl: Saria! Did you read ahead of the script?

Saria: O.O maybe….

Fdl: eh fine (snaps fingers and epona appears)

Link: well (gets on epona and sees a blue treasure chest) O.O (goes and opens and the kokiri emerald comes out) O.O ITS GREEN!

Gdt: that's the kokiri emerald I once thought it was a green taco but when I bit it I broke my tooth.

Link: (whispers to Saria) I wonder why they call him great

Saria: (laughed for a minute then she took the emerald and put it in her bag) it feels like plastic

Gdt: that's my tooth

Saria&Link: O.O

Navi: (talking to herself) I need a poker palace

A/N well that's the end of this chapter tell me what you thought about it


	3. hyrule

A/N I own nothing in this fanfic please R&R also I have a story up for adoption gaea is a wake take a look at it and tell me what you'd do with it

Where we last left our people (and fairy) they left for hyrule but you wont know what happened cuz they did it in the making of this chapter so WHO CARES! In a short way I'll tell you how they got to the castle: kick, punch, slash, murder. And that's how they got to hyrule fields by killing plants. :P

Saria: are we there yet!

Link: no

Saria: why not

Link: because that stupid owl wont stop talking!

Stupid owl: press b to swing your sword press r to use your shield press the off button to make me stop

Link&Saria: (looking around desperately for the off button) WHERE IS IT! (link finally find it and pushes it and the owl explodes)

Saria: YAY!

_Later at hyrule castle_

Link: aww there are eleven guards

Saria: (grabs Indian blowgun and shoots darts in their necks and they feint)

Link: eh that works (puts shotgun away)

_Later at zelda's garden_

Saria: HI!

Girl looking through window: how did you get here?

Link: O.O ummmm we DIDN'T climb a hill and avoid guards and swim through a moat to that hole in the wall and get in here.

Saria: yeah we made the guards pass out THEN we did all of that (says that smiling)

Girl at window: oh well (sees kokiri emerald) O.O its you! Its justin beiber! I-I mean its link!

Link: how do you know my name?

Girl at window: (whispering) I stalk you (out loud) a dream. I am princess Zelda

Saria: I'm Saria … just Saria I guess.

Link: we're kokiri's

Zelda: no you're not you are a hyrulian

(a brick flys at Zelda but she barely dodges it)

Fdl: PEOPLE QUIT READING AHEAD!

Zelda, Link, Saria: O.O

Zelda: Saria? Could you give me and link a minute?

Saria: um I guess (walks out of the room)

Link: why ask Saria to leave?

Zelda: (whispering) so we can date (out loud) to talk about my dream (tells link about her dream)

Link: so I have to get three stones? I'd rather have some weasels

Zelda: here have some rupees for some items (gives link a chest full of rupees)

Link: how will I remember to come back here?

Zelda: by this (kisses him)

(saria was at the door this entire time)

Saria: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Link: O.O CAT FIGHT!

Zelda: (grabs boxing gloves) steel cage match!

_In the end Saria won_

Zelda: (crying)

Link: that was awesome! But Saria three things 1. You didn't need to almost kill Zelda 2. Where did you get that lazer? 3. You didn't say IMA FIRING MY LAZER!

Saria: oops forgot to

Batman: what am I doing here? (gets hit by a train)

Robin: tweet tweet

A/N well that's the end of this chapter R&R PLEASE


	4. gotta collect stupid stones

A/N I own nothing that appears in this other then fdl and random bricks that fly at people who read ahead grrrrrr well enjoy! (starts making a taco)

_At death mountain gate_

Link: can we PLEASE get in?

Guard: not without proof from royal family that you can pass so NO!

Saria: at least can you read this? (hands script)

Guard: sigh fine (reads but a brick hits him in the head and he falls knocked out)

Fdl: Saria that may have been clever but NO READING AHEAD! GRRRRR (goes and buys more bricks)

Link: nice move

Saria: thanks but I was hoping he'd learn you'd stab him later

Link: eh either way works

Saria: I'm glad the stupid ow…

Stupid owl: HI GUYS! ITS ME AGAIN! MISS ME!

Link: (writing his will then stabs himself)

Saria: (uses a red potion to heal him) not again (shaking head)

Stupid owl: you may have noticed I tooks your shotgun hehehe

Link: you did what now! (looking around for gun) eh I still have a sniper (loads aims and shoots owl till he's dead from shots and blood lose)

Owl: jerk (flys away for one minute then a gunshot is heard and owls falls dead)

Link: wells that was fun (later and places where goron rolls)

Saria: OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING! (gets hit by rolling goron)

Goron: heheh I'm a moron! (grabs a cats and hits on head with

Cat: I hate being used as a suicide weapon I'd rather be shot

Link: that can be arranged (grabs shotgun and shoots cat)

Saria: Link! He was joking!

Cat: no I wasn't thanks for death (flys away)

Link: cats fly? Wait did the goron call himself a moron?

Saria: they need iq points

Link: well into goron city

At goron city

Saria: wow these gorons are stupid

Link: I know but I want the stupid stone to get away from these dumb wads

_At darunia _

Link: ugh grumpy gramps (plays music)

Saria: OH MY GOD THAT'S NOT DANCING THAT'S A CRIME AGAINST DANCING

Link: to another place

_At the boss_

Link: (throws a bombs into king dodongos mouth and he dies)

Saria: now we have the stone now to zora domain

Link: ok

_At zora domain_

Link: YAY SUSHI!

Zora: we aint sushi we are related to sushi

Link: ok cousin of sushi

Saria: (who just came in) YAY SUSHI!

Link: they're not sushi apparently they are cousins of sushi

At king zora

Link: here a letter reads it and like it!

King Zora: (reads it) oh my Ruto is in lord jabu-jabu

Saria: jabu-jabu?

King Zora: out guardian god he's a big fish barely fatter than me but still

Saria: if we save Ruto then can we have the stone?

King Zora: sure but why isn't link talking?

Saria: (notices link staring at water) um he has a habit of doing that (snaps fingers in front of links face)

Link: eh wha? What happened? I jumped three times down there while you two talked

Saria: we gotta go save a sushi relative

Link: ok

_AFTER JABU-JABU WITH RUTO IN LINKS FACE_

Link: OH MY GOD SUSHI (jumps in water)

Ruto: (jumps in after him and gets in his face again) you were pretty cool in there a little more then I thought. You saved me what do you want for a reward?

Link: the stupid stone

Ruto: my mother said I could only give it to the one who'd be my husband so were engaged

Link: OH HECK NO! (Steals stone and swims away)

Saria: what happened?

Link: I almost got engaged to a sushi relative

Saria: O.O I feel the urge to make sushi now (holding sushi knife)

Link: yay lunch

_Later at castle town bridge_

Ganondorf runs by

Link: OH MY GOD HE'S GREEN! (Grabs deku nut and throws in his face) seizure time!

Ganondorf: (dies)

Saria: well let's go talk to Zelda

_At zelda's garden_

Zelda: I knew you could do it!

Link: I just heard you saying this: links dead

Saria: can we have the ocarina of time? To go into the sacred realm and obuse the triforce i-I mean protect it

Zelda: fine saria go long (throws it like a football but it falls out the window

Link: I got it!

Zelda: no only Saria can get it

Link: ugh sexist

Saria: hahaha (runs and gets it)

Link: I'm bored (takes out sword and practices)

Zelda: um link do you think I could come with you and Saria?

Link: um I guess if you wanna age seven years (a brick comes and hits link in heads he falls knocked out)

_A month later_

Link: wha? (Wakes up from a nightmare)

Zelda: wow you were out for a month

Saria: (looking at brick) hmm ugh newer model (throws brick and it hits link again and he falls knocked out) oops heheh

Zelda: SARIA!

Saria: um yes (talking scared)

Zelda: you broke twenty of his brain cells it'll take him a years to grow them back!

_A year later_

Link: wha? (wakes up) ok no more bricks please

Zelda: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Saria: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Link: yay I'm 11 or 12 either one works well ready to go to the future?

Zelda: sure

Saria: ready when you are

Link: ok lets go

_At the master sword_

Link: on three pull the sword ok ready? One

Zelda: two

Saria: three

**MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA CLIFF HANGER TAKE THAT YOU FILTHY ROYALS MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NEXT CHAPTER UP SOON**


	5. da future of grave robbing

A/N I own none of this but I do own names of random people like ummm well you get the point enjoy!

**THIS TIME LINK IS REALLY STUPID, SARIA HAS COMMON SENSE, AND ZELDA STILL TRYS TO GET LINK DUN DUN DUN!**

_In the future _COME ON MARTY WE GOTTA GO BACK TO THE FUTURE! Oh wait wrong movie

Link: dang this place is happy

Zelda: well you did kill Ganondorf with a seizure so

Saria: why don't Navi and my fairy talk anymore?

Link: I dunno

Navi: I wanna sing

Zelda: same

Saria: me to

Link: ditto

Fdl: ok one two three

Link: lalalalalala

Zelda: (grabs hammer and smacks link) OH MY GOD SHUDUP!

Saria: (grabs ocarina and plays saria's song)

_Minutes later the cops come in_

Cop: link! You're under arrest for stealing the Zora Sapphire!

Link: oh yeah um about that (takes sword and kills cop)

Saria: and that's how you get rid of cops (both Saria and Zelda clap)

Link: I hate jail it smells like the inside of a deku baba

Saria: how do you know what a deku baba smells like?

Link: um I choose not to answer that (smiling)

Zelda: I think we should go to the forest temple to get a bow

Saria: ok but first I wanna rob a grave

Link: I was thinking the same thing TO KAKAKAKAKA VILLAGE! (A/N I'm taking a few things from other stories I give them full credit for kakakakakaka village and grave robbing heheheh)

_In the kakakakakaka village graveyard _

Link: I choose this grave (starts digging) I'M AN ELF PRETTY PRETTY ELF DIG DOG DIGGY DOGGY ELFY!

Saria: idiotic much? Eh oh well (jumps down hole)

Zelda: ladies first (pushes link in)

Link: OH MY GOD (lands on face and breaks neck)

Saria: LINK! BE MORE CAREFUL!

Zelda: oops didn't means to do that (as she jumps down)

Link: I can't m-m-move (passes out)

Saria: Zelda what did you do

Zelda: I may or may have not pushed him down here

_Hours later_

Link: w-wha? What happened?

Zelda: I may or may have not broken your neck

Saria: she did

Zelda: (smacks Saria) I PAYED YOU FIVE RUPEES TO NOT TELL HIM!

Link: that explains why I see blood (does healing magic on neck)

Saria: O.O how did you do that!

Link: um I may have ask the deku tree to teach me

Zelda: Meh

**END O CHAPTER 5 MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NEXT CHAPTER UP SOON **


	6. a lil to short eh?

A/N sadly I own none of this except characters I put in meh enjoy I'll try to update a lot today hip hip HORAY! Eh enjoy

Link: (sees ghost of dampe') AH! GHOST! (Kills)

Zelda: why did he have a hookshot?

Saria: I CALL IT!

Link: I CALL IT!

Zelda: I WANT IT!

Saria: ok um (takes it and walks away)

Link: GET HER! (Tackles Saria)

Zelda: IT'S SHINY! (Tackles link)

A/N I know short chapter but I kinda wanna start another story today so HA!


End file.
